"ENGINEERS AND HR OFFICERS"

3 Real Life Stories...

 
1.     The First …

Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope.  There were ten HR people and one engineer.

Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer.  Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company.  They forsake their family, don't claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…
 
 Moral:
 
Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.
 

2.     The Second …

 
A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference.  Each HR person holds a ticket.  But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger.  The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: "The conductor is coming!".  At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets.  The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people.  When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: "Ticket, please!"  One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick.  They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn't buy any tickets at all.   After a while one of the engineers announces again: "The conductor is coming!"  Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet.  Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says:  "Ticket, please!"
 
Moral:
 
HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don't really understand them.
 

3.     The Third …

 
Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river.  But they desperately had to get to the other side.
 
 
 But how, with such a raging torrent? 
 
The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord:  "Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river!"
 
*pppppfffffffuuuuff ffffff*
 
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs.  Now he could swim across the river.  It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.
 
BUT… he was successful!
 
The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said:  "Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!"
 
*pppppfffffffuuuuff ffffff*
 
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
 
BUT… he was successful!
 
The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed:  "Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!"
 
*pppppfffffffuuuuff ffffff*
 
The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer.  He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
 
Moral:

You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…
 
GOD HELPS YOU!

VISA TO PAKISTAN

The Scene : Two Top American Executives at IBM Offices in United

States

Year: 2030

Alex: Hi John. You didn't come to work yesterday.

John: Yeah. I was at the Pakistani Embassy trying to get my visa.

Alex: Oh, really? What happened? I've heard that these days they

have become very strict.

John: Yeah, but I managed to get it.

Alex: How long did it take to get it stamped?

John: Man, it was a long queue. Bill Gates was waiting in front of

me and they really gave him a hard time. The poor guy even brought

the property papers for his house in Seattle to show them that he

will return to USA. I went there at 4:00 a.m. to get in the queue and

there were tons of people ahead of me.

Alex: Really? In Pakistan, at the US Embassy it only takes an hour

to get a visa for USA.

John: Yeah! But that's because no one in Pakistan would want to come

to USA, except Americans who have taken Pakistani nationality and

want to bring their kids here.

Alex: So, when are you leaving?

John: As soon as I get my tickets from the company in Pakistan. I'm

so excited. I will be getting a chance to finally fly with the

world's fastest growing airline, Pakistan International Airlines

(PIA). Sort of dream come true, you know.

Alex: How long are you planning to stay in Pakistan?

John: What do you mean "how long?" I will try and settle in

Pakistan. My company has promised me that they will process my Green

Book as soon as possible.

Alex: Really? Man, you're lucky. It's very difficult to get the

Green Book in Pakistan. Last year my cousin and his family went there

on a tourist visa and they're not coming back now.

John: Yeah. That's why I'm planning on marrying a Pakistani girl

there and then sponsoring my parents and my brother and sister from

New York to Pakistan.

Alex: But I hear you can find lots of good American girls in Karachi

and Lahore.

John: Yeah, but I prefer Pakistani girls. They are so much more

superior to our girls.

Alex: What city are you going to?

John: Karachi. The company has a downtown office. Yeah, the salary

is good but the cost of living is quite high because of all the

people flocking to this high-tech mecca.

Alex: I hear the exchange rate is now $100 to a Rupee! That's just

too much. What about Rawalpindi and Islamabad? What are they like?

John: No idea. But they're cheaper than Karachi, which is the

world's headquarter for information technology now.

Alex: I hear the quality of life in Pakistan is incredible.

John: Yeah, man. You can buy a BMW for Rs.30,000, and a Mercedes for

less than Rs.45,000. But my dream is to purchase a Suzuki Turbo FX-

800 which costs roughly Rs.90,000. But what a sweet design, great

curves, and it purrs to the touch.

Alex: By the way, which company are you gonna work for?

John: Haji Jalal Puttarjee & Bros. Technologies, a pure Pakistani

conglomerate specialising in embedded software.

Alex: Man, you're so lucky to work for a pure Pakistani company.

They are really intelligent and unlike any American body shops that

have opened their fly-by-night outfits in Pakistan. The Pakistani

companies pay you even when you're on the bench. My friend, Paul

Allen, used his bench time to visit the Makran Coast, the most

gorgeous resort in Pakistan, I hear.

John: Yeah, man, you're right. I hope the US learns something from

them and follow in their footsteps. It seems all we do is borrow more

and more money from the Prime Commercial Bank.

Alex: How are you going to cope with their language?

John: I've been learning Urdu since my school days. I always dreamed

that one day I'll head for Pakistan ever since my uncle bought me

that T-Shirt from Islamia College. At the Consulate they tested my

proficiency in Urdu and were quite impressed by my score in U-FEL.

Alex: Boy! You're so damn lucky.

John: Yeah. I'll be travelling in the world's fastest train, Tezgam,

I'll be visiting the world's largest theme park in Changa Manga, and

I'll be visiting the famous Lollywood where I might meet the sons and

daughters of movie legends like Nadeem, Sultan Rahi, Anjuman, Reema

and the late babe, Barbra Sharif.

Alex: You know, the Pakistani President is scheduled to visit USA

next year and I hear that he may increase the number of employment

visas.

John: That's very true. Last month, their Labour Minister, Naswar

Khan Pakhtoon, visited the White House and donated Rs.20,000 for the

re-development of the World Trade Centre at Silicon Valley, and has

promised more if we follow the models of the fast developing high-

tech cities, Quetta and Peshawar. Bill Gates was lucky to have a

chance to meet him. Very lucky person.

Alex: Will you be calling on Dave? I hear that he has made it big

there and has a beautiful house on the Lyari River in Karachi.

John: Yeah, I'll be meeting him.

Alex: Anyway, nice chatting to you, John. Good luck, you lucky dog.

John: Yeah, and the same to you, Alex. By the way, don't ever go to

the Pakistani Consulate in the Pakistani local dress because they

will think you're too Pakistanised and may doubt that you will ever

come back, and your application will be rejected. And yes, don't

forget to say to the Visa Officer politely: "Asalam-o-Alaikum. " It

will show them you're a cultured person.

TIME MANAGEMENT TIPS

Five Time Management Mistakes that Wastes a lot of Time

For all those who would like to master their time management skills, must avoid these 5 major Time Management Mistakes.

 1. Procrastination:

Those things which have to be done now are being procrastinated of being postponed. This is one of the traits which is not outside but within us. We have made up a habit that we will do it later as it is not urgent now, we keep on delaying it till one day it becomes burning and urgent, and then we have no choice to act on it. At this point of time, we have to leave aside something that was important but not urgent to complete this task. Many of the corporate executives also get a kick from doing something that is urgent, they love to take pressure, their common phrase is “ohh, don't worry there is still a lot of time”.

2. Do it Myself Attitude:

 "This is too important. Better let me do it." "By the time I show them how to do it, I will finish it myself." There are these executives and managers who always want to be in the thick of the things. They also get a feeling of threat if some one else starts doing what I do. Some have this misconception about their indispensability.

3. No Clearly Defined Goals:

Because we do not know what to do, we keep on doing whatever comes our way. We keep on working very hard but still do not get results or the sense of achievement because we never have defined what we want to achieve. “A journey of thousand miles begins with the first single step.” We all want to take the first step and we are ready to take it, unfortunately we have not defined our journey so we do not know in which direction to take the first step.

4. Not taking Decisions:

One of the major mistakes which waste a lot of our time is in-decision. We keep on pro-castigating our decisions. We do not take the right decision at the right time be it with our professional life or our personal or social life or be it related to our health. And unfortunately many of our decisions are not our decisions at all. They are being imposed on us by our boss, colleagues, family and friends. We also have this urge to be perfect at time and we need a lot of data and testimony to justify our decisions and also always we want to be right at all the time so we remain in-decisive.

5. No Action:

This one is the giant of the time waster which waste chunk of our time. We do not Act on our Goals, we do not take any action on the decisions we make. Many a time people decide to change their habits and behavior but seldom they take any action step on their plan. So no action – no results. Some times people, who do not have clarity of goals, do not see the destination, so, if this set of people act today and cloud sit with a book and pen and start writing down their goal, probably this action step will bring them closer towards their goal.

So if you want to start managing your time, start managing the above five mistakes.  So here is your short brief powerful action plan:

Step 1: Stop Procrastination

Step 2: Empower people around you

Step 3:  Write down your goals of paper

Step 4:  Make those tough decisions

Step 5: ACT now on the above 4 steps.

Wish you all the best. Time management is all about self management. The better you manage your self; automatically your time is managed.