1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well, it's so hot , there were no cool cabs so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.
2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again or should i try this time."
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, it’s terrible and made of contaminated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No, he' s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, it’s autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me if I bite.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and someone asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ........... it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!