Fri 1 Dec 2006

 

• Santa: Oye, tera vyah ho gaya?
Banta: Haan
Santa: Kudi naal.
Banta: Oye, munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan, meri sister da hoya si.


• Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna.
Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Aray naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai


• In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...


• Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se


• In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW


• Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents


• Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

 

• Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi.


• Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!


• Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI


• Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.


• Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.


• Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more

 

 

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Comments (4)
Tue 3 Oct 2006


Here is a sample of some STUPID questions asked by ppl;)

Here the Questions ::

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed
high-heeled shoes steps on (Not Applicable in Pakistan) your feet...

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter...
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit on it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big!!
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron !!

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke ?

Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ............ it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

 

Tags: ,
Comments (1)
Wed 16 Aug 2006

  

HI,

 

 

MONTHLY MILESTONES OF ANY -GUY    
 

Heading

First Week

Second Week

Third Week

Fourth Week

a) Bank Balance

20000

2000

200

20

b) Conveyance

Auto ("I can afford it")

Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!")

Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport")

Walk ("Good for health")

c) Girl Friends

Eena, Meena & Tina ("I can BUY love")

Meena &Tina ("I have enough girl friends")

Tina ("I am loyal to her")

"Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"

d) Mobile Maintenance

Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented for")

Restricted outgoing calls ("I should not create unnecessary traffic on mobile lines")

Rare outgoing calls ("Mobile should be used in urgent situations only")

Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she calls me")

e) Boozing

"Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!

"Man, there is nothing in Goa. Let's go to Mysore."

"The best place to booze on earth is our house itself. What say?"

"Drinking is injurious to health."





MONTHLY MILESTONES OF ANY - GIRL  
 

Heading

First Week

Second Week

Third Week

Fourth Week

a) Bank Balance

20000

20000    

  20000

20000

b) Conveyance

 A uto  ("after all my boy friend pays for it")

Auto  ("after all my boy friend pays for it")

Auto  ("after all my boy friend pays for it")

Auto  ("after all my boy friend pays for it")

c)  Boy  Friends

  Rahul, abhinav, saleem, Peter

  Sachin, sumeet, vinay

  Abhijeet, Ram, christopher...

Arun, Saketh, vimal.

d) Mobile Maintenance

  Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)

Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)

Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)

Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)

e) Boozing

"Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!

"Come, let's  go to Kulu and freak out!

"Come, let's go to Shimla and freak out!

"Come, let's go to Darjeeling and freak out!




well, now must have got to know why gals have enough bank balance

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Sat 12 Aug 2006
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Categories : Pics / Images Shot
Comments (2)
Thu 10 Aug 2006
Categories : Knowledge / Amazing
Comments (2)
Wed 2 Aug 2006

  

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Categories : Pics / Images Shot
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Fri 28 Jul 2006

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store
ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

 

There is, however, a catch . ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor,
but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. ...

 

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

 "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the! Lord, love kids, is drop- dead good looking and helps with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

 

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.


Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!


 

 

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