Thinking (Joke)

A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.

When the dog is about to bite the woman,

the man intervenes and kicks the dog.

A reporter was seeing all this.

He said "That was great.

I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.

Tomorrow the headline will be

“LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG”.

The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here.

I am from US". Reporter " OK.
Then the headline will be

“US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG”.

Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.

I'm a Pakistani national".

Next day, the headline in the paper read .... .... .... .... .... .... ........ .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....

“TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG”.

Gates v GM

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated; "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

African Kid says

When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in Sun, I black

When I scared, I black

When I sick, I black

And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow

When you born, you pink

When you grow up, you white

When you go in sun, you red

When you cold, you blue

When you scared, you yellow

When you sick, you green

And when you die, you grey

And you calling me colored??

So this old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn.

He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible.

The man walks up to the boy and says "You know son, it’s really not healthy to eat all that candy."

The kid looks up at him and says, "You know my grandfather lived to be 97 years old."

The man replies "Oh and did he eat a lot of candy?"

The kid looks at him and says "No, but he minded his own business."

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.

No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more,

he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not"!!!

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Management Lesson:

“Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."

"Read! In the name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists). Has created man from a clot. Read! And your Lord is the most Generous, who has taught (the writing) by the pen. Has taught man that which he did not know."

Surat Al-'Alaq, (Allah - Al-Qura'an - Verses 1 to 5).

“Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“He who leaveth home in search of knowledge, walketh in the path of God” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

"Seek knowledge even as far as China." (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“The acquisition of knowledge is obligation on every Muslim, male and female.” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“One learned man is harder on the devil than a thousand ignorant worshippers.” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“Whoever seeketh knowledge and findeth it, will get two rewards; one of them the reward for desiring it, and the other for attaining it; therefore, even if he do not attain it, for him is one reward.” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“The world and all things in it are valuable; but the most valuable thing in the world is a virtuous woman” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“Four things support the world: the learning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the good, and the valor of the brave” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“Do you love your creator? Love your fellow-beings first” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)

“Verily the best of God's servants are just and learned kings; and verily the worst are bad and ignorant kings.” (Muhammad - sallallaho alaihi wassallam - peace be upon him)