1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well, it's so hot , there were no cool cabs so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again or should i try this time."

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, it’s terrible and made of contaminated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.



6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No, he' s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, it’s autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me if I bite.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and someone asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ........... it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Any of you who had difficulty understanding Thread Deadlocks.
This is for you….

Boss says to Secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary makes call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband makes call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so let’s spend the week together.

Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Let's spend the week together.

Grandpa (the 1st boss) makes call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary makes call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband makes call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together; my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa makes call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.

!!!!!!!!!!!! !
This IS called deadlock. Can't open .

 :)

So this old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn.

He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible.

The man walks up to the boy and says "You know son, it’s really not healthy to eat all that candy."

The kid looks up at him and says, "You know my grandfather lived to be 97 years old."

The man replies "Oh and did he eat a lot of candy?"

The kid looks at him and says "No, but he minded his own business."

young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck, "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the doorbell, because the young couple hasn’t paid their last bill, "Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company.

"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"

"Absolutely."

"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning.

"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut you off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to search other source."