Mon 7 Apr 2008
Comments (3)
Sun 6 Apr 2008

"ENGINEERS AND HR OFFICERS"

 

3 Real Life Stories...

 
1.     The First …

 

Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope.  There were ten HR people and one engineer.

Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer.  Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company.  They forsake their family, don't claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…
 
 Moral:
 
Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.
 

 

2.     The Second …

 
A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference.  Each HR person holds a ticket.  But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger.  The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: "The conductor is coming!".  At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets.  The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people.  When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: "Ticket, please!"  One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick.  They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn't buy any tickets at all.   After a while one of the engineers announces again: "The conductor is coming!"  Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet.  Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says:  "Ticket, please!"
 
Moral:
 
HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don't really understand them.
 

 

3.     The Third …

 
Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river.  But they desperately had to get to the other side.
 
 
 But how, with such a raging torrent? 
 
The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord:  "Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river!"
 
*pppppfffffffuuuuff ffffff*
 
The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs.  Now he could swim across the river.  It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.
 
BUT… he was successful!
 
The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said:  "Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!"
 
*pppppfffffffuuuuff ffffff*
 
The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.
 
BUT… he was successful!
 
The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed:  "Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!"
 
*pppppfffffffuuuuff ffffff*
 
The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer.  He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.
 
Moral:

You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…

 
GOD HELPS YOU!

Comments (3)
Sat 5 Apr 2008
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Categories : Pics / Images Shot
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Thu 3 Apr 2008

 

 

 

 

 

Hillbilly Medical Terms.JPG

Benign......................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria...................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.....................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section....A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan..................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize................Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................A sheep dog.
Coma.......................A punctuation mark.
D&C........................Where Washington is.
Dilate......................To live long.
Enema.....................Not a friend.
Fester.....................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................A small lie.
G.I.Series................World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail..................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..............Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.........A Doctor's cane.
Morbid....................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates..................Cheaper than day rates.
Node.......................I knew it.
Outpatient.............A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...............A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative.......A letter carrier.
Recovery Room......Place to do upholstery.
Rectum..................Damn near killed him.
Secretion...............Hiding something
Seizure...................Roman emperor.
Tablet....................A small table.
Terminal Illness......Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor....................More than one.
Urine.....................Opposite of mine.
Varicose.................Near by/close by.

 

 

 

Categories : Health / Medical
Comments (3)
Wed 2 Apr 2008

TIME MANAGEMENT TIPS

 

Five Time Management Mistakes that Wastes a lot of Time

For all those who would like to master their time management skills, must avoid these 5 major Time Management Mistakes.

 

 1. Procrastination:

Those things which have to be done now are being procrastinated of being postponed. This is one of the traits which is not outside but within us. We have made up a habit that we will do it later as it is not urgent now, we keep on delaying it till one day it becomes burning and urgent, and then we have no choice to act on it. At this point of time, we have to leave aside something that was important but not urgent to complete this task. Many of the corporate executives also get a kick from doing something that is urgent, they love to take pressure, their common phrase is “ohh, don't worry there is still a lot of time”.

 

2. Do it Myself Attitude:

 "This is too important. Better let me do it." "By the time I show them how to do it, I will finish it myself." There are these executives and managers who always want to be in the thick of the things. They also get a feeling of threat if some one else starts doing what I do. Some have this misconception about their indispensability.

 

3. No Clearly Defined Goals:

Because we do not know what to do, we keep on doing whatever comes our way. We keep on working very hard but still do not get results or the sense of achievement because we never have defined what we want to achieve. “A journey of thousand miles begins with the first single step.” We all want to take the first step and we are ready to take it, unfortunately we have not defined our journey so we do not know in which direction to take the first step.

 

4. Not taking Decisions:

One of the major mistakes which waste a lot of our time is in-decision. We keep on pro-castigating our decisions. We do not take the right decision at the right time be it with our professional life or our personal or social life or be it related to our health. And unfortunately many of our decisions are not our decisions at all. They are being imposed on us by our boss, colleagues, family and friends. We also have this urge to be perfect at time and we need a lot of data and testimony to justify our decisions and also always we want to be right at all the time so we remain in-decisive.

 

5. No Action:

This one is the giant of the time waster which waste chunk of our time. We do not Act on our Goals, we do not take any action on the decisions we make. Many a time people decide to change their habits and behavior but seldom they take any action step on their plan. So no action – no results. Some times people, who do not have clarity of goals, do not see the destination, so, if this set of people act today and cloud sit with a book and pen and start writing down their goal, probably this action step will bring them closer towards their goal.

 

So if you want to start managing your time, start managing the above five mistakes.  So here is your short brief powerful action plan:

 

 

Step 1: Stop Procrastination

 

Step 2: Empower people around you

 

Step 3:  Write down your goals of paper

 

Step 4:  Make those tough decisions

 

Step 5: ACT now on the above 4 steps.

 

 

Wish you all the best. Time management is all about self management. The better you manage your self; automatically your time is managed.

Categories : Knowledge / Amazing
Comments (1)
Tue 1 Apr 2008

This handy excel math sheets contains assorted helpful calculators and conversions 

Unit_Conversion_All_In_One(1).xls (164.50 kb)

Comments (5)
Tue 1 Apr 2008


Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'. 


Editor: 'Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? '
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:


'We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.
Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.


My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
 

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said 'This is your first time'.

She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.

This time she again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued.


When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you  crazy?' ..

She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!'.' 

Husband:'That's it. We are happy ever after. '

 

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