BE A REALLY GOOD WIFE…

Let me tell you the ways to get to his heart

Delicious food is where you should start

A really good meal – there’s nothing like it

Be it steak or biryani, kebabs or fish

When he returns home from work, greet him at the door

A really nice smile will please him for sure

Elegant clothes, make-up, perfume applied

All these things make for an attractive wife.

Serve him his meal and do it with style

The domestic woes can wait for a while.

Be a good listener – Was his day alright?

Be ready to give him support and advice

When he’s home, try to be there for him

No friend can be more important than him

If he wants to go out put everything aside

Let your company be the best thing in life

Be smiling and cheerful and do make him laugh

This is one more way of keeping his heart

Use wisdom and tact when dealing with him

Nothing can be gained by fighting with him

If he does say something which you don’t like

Do give it some thought, perhaps he’s right

As for his money, do spend it with care

Remember all the hard work it took to get there

Be grateful to him in deeds, words and thoughts

Ingratitude to husbands is disliked by God

If you do all this, it’ll improve your life

For marital bliss makes this world Paradise

And think of the reward there is in the Next

It’ll motivate you into doing your best.

Before marriage.....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: No! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: No! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get.

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

She: Darling!

After marriage....

Simply read from bottom to top.

Women: A wife was not at home for a whole night. So the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend's and one of them confirmed that they celebrated birthday party.
 
Men: A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning  that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. The wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartment that night and the other 5 claimed that he was still there with them!
 
Conclusion of the story: Men are better friends!!!! J

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'. 

Editor: 'Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? '
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:

'We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.
Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.

My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
 

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said 'This is your first time'.

She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.

This time she again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you  crazy?' ..

She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!'.' 

Husband:'That's it. We are happy ever after. '

6 weeks , 6 months, 6 years . . .

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Dating process:

6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.

6 months : Of course I love U.

6 years : Offo, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

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Back from Work:

6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.

6 months : BACK!!

6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

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Gifts:

6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.

6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.

6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

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Phone Ringing:

6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.

6 months : Here, for you.

6 years : PHONE RINGING.

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Cooking:

6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!

6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?

6 years : AGAIN!!!!

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Apology:

6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.

6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.

6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

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New Dress:

6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.

6 months : You bought a new dress again???

6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

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Planning for Vacations:

6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??

6 months : What's so bad about going to India on a charter plane?

6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

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TV:

6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?

6 months : I like this movie.

6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself . . .

young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck, "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the doorbell, because the young couple hasn’t paid their last bill, "Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company.

"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"

"Absolutely."

"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning.

"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut you off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to search other source."