Wife T.V per cricket match daikh rahi thi.Husband smart aur bun than k aya or bola "JANU MAIN KESA LAG RAHA HUN?
Tabhi wife zor se chillayi.,"CHAKKA"

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?…. It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins

Sardar to Girlfriend= main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche…

Wats da height of hope?
sittin in da exam hall, holdin da questn paper in hand n teln urslf
"dude, don worry. Exams wil gt postpond"All d best:)

Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

• Santa: Oye, tera vyah ho gaya?
Banta: Haan
Santa: Kudi naal.
Banta: Oye, munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan, meri sister da hoya si.

• Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna.
Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Aray naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai

• In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

• Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

• In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

• Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents

• Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

• Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi.

• Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

• Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

• Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

• Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

• Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more

Here is a sample of some STUPID questions asked by ppl;)

Here the Questions ::

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed
high-heeled shoes steps on (Not Applicable in Pakistan) your feet...

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter...
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit on it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big!!
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron !!

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke ?

Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ............ it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

 A Sardarji, a Danish  and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment.

The Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has aske me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

1.  The Danish was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only; lasted 10 lashes & the Danish had to be carried away bleeding & crying with pain.2.  The Sardarji was next up. After watching the Danish in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Sardarji was also led away whimpering loudly.

3. The Pakistani was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your highness," Pakistani replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik aasked. Pakistani smiled and said, "Tie the Danish to my back" 

Sardar was riding on horse.

He jumped the Red light and policeman whistles.

The Sardar lifts the tail of horse and says,

“ LE KARLAY, KARLAY NUMBER NOTE”.  J