Fri 28 Jul 2006

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store
ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

 

There is, however, a catch . ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor,
but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. ...

 

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

 "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the! Lord, love kids, is drop- dead good looking and helps with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

 

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.


Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!


 

 

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Tue 18 Jul 2006

 

CNG Cylinders
 
Do you know that there is an expiry date (physical life) for CNG cylinders? 
 
Expired Cylinders are not safe for use and may cause accidents. In this regard
Please be cautious at the time of accepting any CNG cylinder from the
Vendor or check the date of cylinder being used in your vehicle.
 
Here is how we can check the expiry of CNG cylinders: On one of three sides 
Stems of the cylinder, the expiry date is coded alpha numerically as 
Follows A or B or C or D and some two digit number following this 
e.g. D06. The alphabets stand for 
quarters - A for March (First Qtr), B - June 
(Second Qtr), C-Sept (Third Qtr), D for December (Fourth Qtr). The 
digits stand for the year till it is valid. Hence D06 would mean December qtr of
2006.
 
 Safety is a part of Company’s HSES policy 
Categories : Knowledge / Amazing
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Tue 11 Jul 2006

 

The phone rang in the obituary department of a Karachi local newspaper.
'How much does it cost to have an obituary printed'? asked a Memon
caller. 'It's 50 Rupees a word, sir,' the clerk replied politely.
'Fine,' said Ghapphar Bhai after a moment. 'Okay then, write this down:
'Rajjakbhai- dead'.'

'That's all?' asked the clerk disbelievingly. 'That's it.' 'I'm sorry
sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum.'

'Yes, you should've,' snapped Ghapphar Bhai. "Abhi jara souchnay dau eik
minute" .......

"okay, likho: Rajjakbhai dead. Suzuki for Sale."



;)

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Wed 21 Jun 2006

 A Sardarji, a Danish  and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment.

The Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has aske me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

1.  The Danish was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only; lasted 10 lashes & the Danish had to be carried away bleeding & crying with pain.
2.  The Sardarji was next up. After watching the Danish in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Sardarji was also led away whimpering loudly.

3. The Pakistani was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your highness," Pakistani replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik aasked.
 Pakistani smiled and said, "Tie the Danish to my back" 

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Tue 20 Jun 2006


ONE BEDROOM FLAT... A TYPICAL MIDDLE CLASS INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER'S LIFE... - A Bitter Reality

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity.


When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.


Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned  enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after  his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's  and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate
getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my  parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in
the cheapest flight. I was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.

In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return
to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes
3 times a week. Our savings  started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the
Almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India, the work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India. The next message I got was my parents had passed away and there was no one to do the last rites ...the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My  parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After a couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned  to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA.

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India. My 2 children and I returned to USA  after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in  USA. I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing  and returned to India. I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.  
Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes I wonder was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.


Even if i had earned millions what i would have done with that Today?

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values
and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rites, God Bless them. But the question still remains 'was all this worth it ?

I am still searching for an answer................!!!!

Please pass on this message to as many people as possible so that everybody should know their destiny, which is more important..... relation or money ????

Remember money isn't everything, it is not the only means of happiness... it is up to you to decide.. Life is a beautiful gift of God, He has gifted it to you to live it. 

If you want to see the rainbow, you have to survive the storm.

 

Categories : Thoughts / Lessons
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Thu 25 May 2006

Story #1

 It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more."
Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"
Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you".

Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene:
Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral:
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world:
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

 

Story #2

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."

Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd ! "

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene:
As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson in the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT

Categories : Thoughts / Lessons
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